Depression, the Unexplainable

Among other things I suffer from SADs-Seasonal Affective Disorder. As autumn comes the days become less sunny and I find I cry frequently for no particular reason. Most of the time I cannot even drag myself out of bed in the mornings. Then I find I stay up too late at night because I am not tired.

It becomes a viscious cycle. I get sadder and the days get shorter. The past three years I have been able to combat this. The first winter after I retired, I spent in south Texas. It was a great experience, but not really the place for me. The past two winters I have spent in South Carolina. There I made some wonderful friends and have thoroughly enjoyed myself. Even though last winter was colder and wetter than the previous one, I still had the beach to walk on. 

This year the sadness has set in earlier than usual. I have found myself weepy for the past three days. Something which makes me totally crazy and I hate when it happens. I have tried keeping myself busy, but find I am lacking in energy. Part of the problem is my allergies are on overtime, wearing down my system. I have spent time with the cheeriest person I know. She has no idea how much she helps keep me above water some days.  This week I made her step out of her comfort zone and have photos taken. I'm glad she did. 

Seriously who could be sad around this? Bonus was a former student was the photographer. It was a beautiful day.

I have a shopping therapy day coming up this week with two of my undergrad friends. I can hardly wait. It's been a while since the three of us got together. So, it gives me something to look forward to.

I am really okay. Just sad and not looking forward to winter. I will not be traveling this year. Not being a fan of winter will keep me inside. Not a problem as I have a book to finish and one to get out for another author. I have much to do to keep myself occuppied. 

Depression is not something you can see. Those who are depressed do everything they can to hide it. Should this minor bout with the dark side hang on too long I will see my doctor for meds. I prefer not to take meds. But depression screws with my diabetes. And that is not something I want to deal with. It is too hard to manage the diabetes on a day-to-day basis to add in depression and watch it really screw up. 

So, if you don't see me on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, and you don't hear from me, don't panic. I have just crawled under the covers to shut out the world. I will be fine. I have been worse off than this and will survive this. For now, I'm just spending time with me. 

TTFN